How I got my licence to kill on Indian roads..

India has laws on driving - a legacy of the Indian law-makers who gifted us one of the most comprehensive Constitutions in the world. Hats off to them for their efforts in penning out all possible eventualities and outcomes possible. But I guess they overlooked the fact that the Government and the 'system' which would be given the responsibility of running the constitution would be made up of lesser mortals. Or that success is 1% strategy, and 99% execution.

Cut to 2011 in one of the bristling metropolitan cities. An ordinary Indian, a aam admi, if you will, wanted to get a driving license. A fairly simple deal - you go to the nearest motor vehicle department (MVD), get a learner's license, give a driving test after 30 days and on successful completion, you are rewarded for your efforts with a driving license that allows you to kill, er, drive on Indian roads.
My well-wishers advised me to enroll in the nearest motor school instead, pay a sum of Rs 3,000 and get my license. Being a contrarian, and arguing that I knew how to drive already - I have driven on American roads for more than three years - I decided to take the road less trodden.
I reported fairly early at 11:00, armed with multiple copies of my documents, to the nearest MVD. The MVD is a fairly bristling center - an entire economy thrived around it. From food-vendors to doctors to lawyers, each of whose services I found I would require fairly soon in my quest for a driving license. As I entered the imposing institution, I was swarmed with some half-a-dozen folk, all of whom wanted to help me out with various services.
The charitable folk call them 'agents' who, for a 'small' fee, help you navigate the corridors of power. How hard could it be to get a basic license? I declined their services and courageously entered the inner offices. After consulting some half-a-dozen babus, whom I had disturbed from their afternoon siesta, I luckily landed up at Mr. X's office.
'You want a license?',he laughed. I was probably the first joker in months who wanted to apply 'directly'. He looked at my filled up application form (duly downloaded from the web - the MVD's got tech savy, didn't you know? ). He laughed again and pointed out that this form would not do. I needed to get the application form and fill it again. Cut a long story short, another half an hour by which time I became familiar with the complex maze of the Government machinery, I landed up again at Mr. X's doorstep.
He laughed again, returned to servicing the paperwork of endless agents, and looked back at me with a pitiful look that would have outdone the manner a tiger eyes his prey. He studied the form, declared that I needed to first deposit Rs 70 and then come back with the form.
I met the helpful 'agents' again. One contested that I was doing him a disservice, snatching away his daily bread by daring to do my own legwork. Another smirked. The third laughed at my pitiful self running around for the past one hour when he could have got it all done in a jiffy. I egged on alone.
Finding the cash counter, waking up the cashier and cajoling him to take my seventy for the coveted receipt took all of half an hour. I returned back to Mr. X, my patience waringly thin. Mr. X could not believe his eyes seeing me again. He religiously declared that since it was past 12:00, he would not be looking at the forms for the day, and I could jolly well go to hell.
I protested. Mr. X proclaimed that I better shut-up or else he would see to it that there were so many errors in my form that...
That did it. I thundered out loud and clear. That drew the attention of Mr. Y, apparently Mr X's senior. He studied my form. The address line in my passport gives my old IIT hostel address. "IIT? You live at IIT KGP?" For the uninitiated, IIT is a three letter word that is considered next to mecca for the middle class Indian, who dreams of an engineering degree from that sacred institution and greener pastures outside India. When I returned from the US, I was summarily rejected from three interviews in Kolkata by three engineering firms who summarily told me three times that I was overqualified, that I would not do. At the time, I would have been happy to tear away the IIT degree.
Mr. Y was genuinely impressed, and quickly declared that his friend was a professor at IIT KGP. "Eta kore de na! (Please get it done.)", he instructed Mr. X with an apologetic smile. My curses for the IIT degree were clearly misplaced. IIT might not have taught one too much about engineering, but it certainly helped one in the quest for a driving license in India!
Needless to say, Mr. X's equation with me changed from that point in time. The errors in my form were quickly obliterated. In fact, Mr. X became my friend, philosopher and guide.
There was more leg-work and waiting periods as other officers blessed my application form. By six, I had successfully completed my formalities and received my learner's permit.
Thirty days later, Mr. X again came to my rescue when I wanted my permanent driving license. The driving test in India comprises of you driving the car around a park with a qualified driver by your side. The test inspectors have decided that it is far too dangerous to 'test' a prospective candidate. The job has been outsourced to qualified drivers roped in, by the prospective candidate, of course. If the candidate can coax a qualified driver to sit with him during a drive, that is good enough for the test inspector. And in any case, as long as a candidate comes from respectable channels (motor schools or friendly agents or contacts), candidates are not to be denied their basic right to kill, er, drive.

Reflecting back on my episode, I ask myself why is it that I was the only joker to go get my license from the MVD. I was at the MVD on two different occasions and spent a fair amount of time there, and I can safely attest that apart from agents and the admin staff of motor training schools, there really was no one else. One can argue that the vast majority of people wanting to get a driving license don't know how to drive and so the motor training school is the obvious choice. But then again, I know at least ten people who knew how to drive, having learnt it from their parents, or drivers, but who still used the services of the motor school to get a license. All ten told me that they just did not want to go through the harassment of getting their own license but would rather that the agent do it for them. Giving the agent a commission of Rs 500 so that he can oil the Government machinery is not really graft or corruption. It is merely what the 'system' demands!

We Indians have voiced out in support of Anna Hazare. Numerous emails have been circulated. We all want a hero to come fight our war against corruption.
But, when it comes to our small little battles at the bureaucrat's office, we will meekly surrender because we don't want to get harassed. We will join in the vociferous crowds or candlelight vigils, all in masses where we can't be singled out, where we will have the safety of numbers. But when we have to fight our lone wars, we submit without a fight for fear of retribution.
Witness the hypocrisy of an Indian society which will not get harassed, would rather crucify itself at the altar of corruption, but at the same time cry out loud and clear against graft in all its forms! You and I have succumbed to the temptation far too often. If Anna Hazare and his elk are to win, if corruption is to be rooted out, mere voices or masses will not help. We will have to learn to fight our small little battles ourselves.

So, what happened???

A fairly long time before I put in a post, so decided to correct the wrong. Well, I graduated out of IIM-A and stepped into the big, bad corporate world.

As part of my first engagement, I needed to travel to NYC. (What, US again?) So, keeping my long standing relationship with US, I stepped into Newark Airport and said 'Hi' to the immigration officer at the airport. His response was 'What happened?' I guess he must have seen my F-1, H-1B, J-1 and now my B-1 visa and just couldn't imagine why I had not stayed back in US after all!!

I moved on, but the question kept ringing in my mind - 'So, what happened?' I don't know what happened. I don't feel very much in control of my life and I don't know what life has in store for me. I have embraced uncertainty into my life and I don't have a clear picture of what I want to do. I don't have any solutions towards my long-standing goals, and I have begun to compromise. Everyone has to compromise, but does compromise also mean that you have failed? Again, the present state of mind answers back, I don't know.

So, I'll leave it at that - I don't know. Uncertainty, the dark cloud of existence, I embrace thee for I know not what I do.

I-Schol - made it!

I graduated out of IIM-A. I became an I-schol! Yay, made it! To the uninitiated, an I-schol is a big thing at IIM-A. It means that you are in the top 5% of your class and is a very big academic honor at IIM-A.

India-US-India-US again.

Well, right now I am in the US again. But unlike the last time, when I studied and worked and stayed back for almost five years, this time, I am here only for three months on an exchange program that IIM-A has with its business school partner, Washington University in St. Louis. So, how do I feel about being in the US after two years? Has anything changed in these two years?

Well, nothing, coz nothing has really changed here in the US. Consumerism is still high. The average American is still ignorant about the world out there. His world is still the city, town or village where he lives in. But the winds of change, can you stop them?

Wall Street is dying.. Its monsters - Lehman, Bear Sterns, Merill are all dead, and the remaining - Goldman and Morgan have been tightly reined in. The economic indicators are crying out loudly - Recession. The Government has 'bought' the free markets and one can but wait for the next big corruption. In unprecedented moves, the capitalist is becoming a socialist.What seems sad is the the silent democracy.

On a different note, the democracy did surprise me by electing its first African American President. The racial pretensions between the blacks and whites, as per the Wall Street Journal, are at all time low - 25%!! The papers are awash with rumors of the increasing importance of minorities in Government. The black VPs in different organizations are silently being promoted since they might now be more influential in driving business to their firms. On the surface, you perceive a calm. But I suspect the tides of tsunamis are brewing within American society. Change always faces resistance and for a country to embrace a black President after centuries of Caucasian Presidents, might lead to more turbulence in these tumultuous economic times.

Relationships

Relationships are complex.

Humans are so obsessed with relationships that you would find an entire chapter on relationships and their complexities in any modern maths book. Jokes apart, Relationships are dynamic and alive, and you could even say that they lend color and variety to life.

We just returned from watching 'The Dark Knight' - another of the batman series.. I love Batman movies because Bruce seems so real and life-like. I mean of all the superheroes - Superman, Spiderman, X-men and who have you, I think Batman comes across as a fairly real life persona - someone whom you could relate to in a way. You find a web of relationships and philosophies wherein both the good guys and the bad guys have their black and white shades, and get estranged in myraid ways and relationships - some open, some too dangerous to be kept open.

When you look at life, you find that relationships can be truly complex. Take the case of the 'semi-girl friend', a term that I have borrowed from Chetan Bhagat's novel - A night @ the call center. You are not sure if she is a girl friend or just a friend, or someone that you are using to forget about your true girl friend. Take the case of a married man, who might love his wife, but cannot work with at office and then at the same time who likes working with a girl in the office, and not really be in love with.

From whatever little I have seen of the world, I would think that relationships do tend to be so complex sometimes that you might not really understand it all, but if you are honest about them, then maybe you can deal with them in a much better way. Transparency and openness would then be the only way for you to weave in and out of the complexities of relationships.

Outsourcing!

The west outsourced its dull back-end work - call centers, BPO and related activities out to India.
What did we do? We went and outsourced the fun stuff - IPL cheerleading out to the West!

Cities I've visited!

Here's all the cities that I have visited! Still a lot more to cover.

• Create your own travel map or travel blog


• Visit TripAdvisor.com

Randy Pausch

A really long video!! So, I'll keep it short.

WATCH IT if that's the last thing you do!!

Holi Hain

Holi. Holi in India. Holi in India after five years. Holi in India after five years at IIM-A. First of all, a very happy Holi to all. May the colors of the season color all our lives!

I played Holi, proper Holi with colors and all after such a long time that I had almost forgotten what Holi was all about. In the US, you didn't even get a holiday, so Holi had meant just another potluck in the week-end.. (Of course, there are places in the US, where a sizeable Indian population means a very colorful and bashful Holi!)

Holi at home would have been fun. But as the forces would have it, I had to spend Holi at IIM-A, which was not really such a bad alternative, but yes, to be honest, I did miss my family very much.

Holi at IIM-A started off with the usual morning dunking, a round of water wars and then we all trooped over to the common grounds.. IIM-A Cult-Com had done a good job, and there was the gulal tanki, the balloons, the pukka rang, and most importantly the junta. Even the profs came over to play Holi, and for a change it was fun to dunk the very same profs who customarily dunk us with fundae in class day-in and day-out.

Holi over, the bath - half a bar of soap and frantic rubbing and the colors of Holi still refuse to get off - Good!

Namesake

Well, I watched Namesake today. Yes, its not a new movie, yes, it was released last year, but for some reason, I just never got round to seeing it till today. A very nice movie (though initially I thought it was rather slow) - the kind of movie that makes you all mushy and strike all the poignant chords, the kind that makes you think.

After coming back from the US, I never really thought too much about it, but strangely enough, after seeing the movie, the single thought that I had was that one of the best decisions that I have made is to have come back to India. You might laugh at me, I mean how are the two related - Namesake and India. I guess I don't really have an answer. Some things don't need to have an answer. You don't really need to figure out whether there is a God. Its better to let it 'blow in the wind'. And so, I am just going to let it blow in the wind. Not think too much, not analyze too much, nor dissect too much.

Just feel so happy that I am back in my land. Just feel so happy that I am close to home, to everything that means anything to me. Just feel so happy that I was able to visit home more times last year than I have in the last six years.

Great movies, they make you think, great movies, they make you cry and laugh, great movies that make you feel you are after all only a human.

Inclusive Growth.

At the cost of being termed 'nerdy', I shall use this medium to think aloud my thoughts on the current talk of the town - Inclusive Growth. (See, I have invested so much time and effort the last six months in my MBA program that there have been spill-over effects and I have begun to believe that the trade is closer to my passion than engineering. Then again the last statement was fairly strong and is subject to the standard disclaimer: Strong statements are subject to market risks and are expected to change and temper with time.)

Well, coming back to the issue. A lot has been said about Inclusive Growth and no doubt a lot more will be said.. Now here's how I see the problem.

I believe that the issue of inclusive growth is a 'principal agent' problem (Google for principal agent problem in the economic context.) The agents being the haves and the have-nots. So, then if a particular section of the society is disbarred or prevented from sharing the profits of the entire community, it could act in accordance with its own interests and, thus, create market disturbances.

In simple layman terms, the interests of the entire community, society or organization need to be well aligned. For this to happen, the implication is that the rewards of progress need to be fairly distributed to all the stakeholders. More importantly, no one should get the feeling that they got a raw deal. This does not mean that you reward poor performance. On the contrary, poor performance should be punished and the agent should be told in very clear terms the basis on which his performance was judged, why he did not perform and what steps he could take to improve future performance. Similarly, excellent performance needs to be adequately awarded, thus, incentivising the agent to perform even better in the future.

Simple problems have simple solutions and complex problems have even simpler solutions. The concept of the principal agent problem is applicable in most disharmonious organizations and societies, and my limited knowledge would suggest that it applies to the problem of non-inclusive growth in the Indian economy.

Wise cracks!

In the mood for wise cracks today, so here goes!!

- Everyone's after the time value of money (read interest rate), but what about the money value of time (read opportunity cost)??

- When there's a gold rush, everyone runs after the gold, a few run after the spades. Guess who make the fortune?

Encounters of the marital kind.

First post for the year. So, by default, has to have masala. And in good measure, while I am at it, am gonna spike up the drink.

Ok, I am new to the marital encounters and while I do offer consultancy services to many a friend, many of whom have been blessed by my advice, this was a first for me.

In all earnestness, this was like the driving test that I took in the US. I go to the driving school. The instructor tells me go drive the car. I take the car out into the streets, do my best to make sure I don't ram into that truck, and scare the bonkers out of every car that dares to come near me. Fifteen minutes later, the guy says let me out, you passed the test. I go what the!, smile and get my license.

Ok, so lets play "Meet the parents."

Conventional Indian arranged marriages go: Guy and his family and uncles and aunts go to the gal's house. The gal comes in with a tea tray laden with goodies, and delights everyone with her culinary delights, and shyly says my name is Mira.

Fast forward to 2008, I had the gal's family come over to meet me at my house. No gal, just Mommy dear and Papa dear, who wanted to take a good hard look at me. Talk of men's liberation or the changing times. Whatever, I come in with the tea-laden tray.

Mommy Dear: "So, beta, did you make this samosa?" I nod my head in glee. "And how much 'moin' did you put?" This is worse than an I-banker's interview but hell I am prepared for this! "Two tbsps!" Mommy dear pacified, its Papa bear's turn.

Pappa Bear: "And what are your hobbies?" I shag. Well, couldn't tell him that, so I talk about my stamp-collecting and coin-collecting interests. Papa Bear is impressed. Beta's gonna take good care of my stamps and coins, he thinks..

Well, mission accomplished. Mommy Dear and Papa Bear gave the green signal. Now I move to the second round of interviews -this time with the gal. But then that's another story, another day!

Getting older...

The good thing about getting older is that you have so many memory lanes down which you can walk, and reminisce of old times.

The bad thing is that its so easy to get lost in them!

Go Rajat Nagpal !

The last days of WIMWI second term.. The examinations.. The last straws.. And as I tried to recover from the onslaught of the mighty QM and EEP end-sems (See what exams can do to your grammar, et al), I you-tube my way to some of the finest documentaries and music videos out there - all directed by the one and only Rajat Nagpal. The fact that Rajat was my class-mate at Don Bosco does not in any way bias my opinion of him as one of the most promising director that Bollywood has to offer. You can sample him at:



Sadho Re



Mahamaya



Keiner




Yahin Kahin


Mahamaya not only has a very rich sound-track and video, but also has a very visual and powerful message and philosophy. A perfect blend that compares very well with Nirvana. Sadho Re, visualises the world through a child's eye. Again, lovely music and visuals.

Rajat's Yahin Kahin brings you up close and personal with contemporary India and the climax is just that - climaxical (Repeat: Exam-time and my vocabulary is full of distasteful business lingo which I am sure you don't want to read. So 'climaxical' will have to do for now!) Keiner seems to be revolved around a similar theme but based in Germany.

Well, a very welcome break from all the characteristic muggai of fuchchadom at WIMWI.

Take a chill-pill !!

Corporate Finance - Brealey/Myers/Allen. Chapter 20 - Options. End of chapter - Summary:

"If you have managed to reach this point, you are probably in need of a rest and a stiff gin and tonic. So, we will summarize what we have learned so far and take up the subject of options again in the next chapter when you are rested (or drunk)."

The authors are obviously very highly regarded in their field. The text-book is a standard for most finance courses taught in business schools the world over. What is even more striking is that these guys have a sense of humor (Actually, its not so striking if you have ever been to the US, and interacted with the brightest and the best professors - the Gods.) A very common feature amongst most of these professors is their humility and sense of humor - something that I can attest to since I had the honor of being taught by Prof. Deiter Schroder (Semiconductor Characterization) and Prof. Douglas Montgomery (Design of Experiments), both stalwarts in their respective fields. Maybe, one of the reasons why they are what they are is because they truly enjoy what they do, and enjoy laughing at themselves once in a while..

I compare the styles of American authors with the text books written by Indian authors. For the most part, the Indian contemporaries are formal, succinct and BOOORING...

(Important Disclaimer: There are some very refreshing and notable exceptions - Concepts in Physics by Prof. HC Verma. If you are into Physics, you wouldn't be able to have enough of him.)

But the point that I am making is that the norm amongst Indian academic authors is that they rarely ever make you laugh. So, why this lack of humor amongst Indian academia. Is it that the academia would always want to be taken very seriously? Is it that the academia scorn at any attempt to belittle them and/or cannot laugh at themselves? Or is it that Indian academia does not always truly enjoy what it does, that it is frustrated and discontent with the resources given to it and this is what comes out in its publishings?

Well, I don't want to play God here, but I do wish that the Indian academic community would cheer up, laugh a little more often, or in simple words, take a chill-pill.

Of resolutions.

Before joining IIM-A, I decided to make a resolve. (Before doing anything new in life, you always want to make a resolve, right? Something akin to the poojas and et al that our forefathers did.

I thought that this was my last fling in acad life. So, I better do what I missed out in my earlier acad life. I made a list of all that I did, and what I didn't. Lo behold, try as hard as I could, I could think of only one item that I didn't do, and that was studying... I stared at the list and then chew up the list...

Moral of the story: Make resolutions if you absolutely have to, but never, never, Never try to dissect ur earlier life. It only leads to pain and suffering.

Everything changes and nothing does..

Change.

People say that the only thing that's constant is change. And while the skylines and the top-lines (ok, five months of intensive accounting, and whether I like it or not, my language is peppered with all that jazzzz.) change every year, the core values and the bottom-lines (there I go again!!) just don't change.

Yes, let's face it, its very difficult for the basics to change. You might get complicated in your expressions, and make life complicated for you and all around you, but the core basics, philosophies of life just don't change. Your garb of sophistication and self-righteousness melt away in times of crisis and you unleash your animal and guttural instincts of survival out into the world.

Don't believe me, well, look what happens around you in the world. When Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans, even the cops feared to enter certain districts..

The physical violence has transformed into the even bitter mental violence. Instead of the battle-ground, in lieu of our precious lives, we prefer to settle our differences in courts. The basics - human conflicts, differences - have not changed, our medium of resolution has.

Which one is worse? Mental or Physical, I'll leave that out to you. (One of the cool T-shirts that I had had this caption - Stop F**king me with your brains.)

Well, as the brook said, "For men may come and men may go, I go on forever."

The Taj - a monument of love or ...

Ok, today, I am in a really expansive mood. Two big posts in a WIMWI day!! Or maybe its because of my last post #13. I am not really a superstitious type, but if you are in an expansive mood and if you just want to write to your blog, you can indulge in such luxuries.

Ok, reader, never mind the above. They were just place-holders. Cut to the quick, the Taj Mahal, India's entry to the seven wonders of the world is considered a monument of love - the insignia of a weeping widower in memory of his departed wife.

The emperor of India spent millions to build his saga of love, and when the monument was completed, he cut off the hands of the twenty thousand artisans who had built the tomb - so that they might never again create a better masterpiece.

As I stared at the Taj Mahal on the back-cover of my marketing note-book, the white Taj suddenly turned red (or was it my eyes that desperately wanted some shut-eye). Either case, I cannot disassociate the beauty of the Taj with the brutality of its emperor in cutting off the hands of his artisans.

History is full of examples of emperors and conquerors and kings. Of great battles and romances. Of how Alexander almost conquered the entire world, of how Ashoka spread Buddhism, of how Gandhiji fought the British. But history almost never talks about the populace which made it possible. The common man is always common - too common to be written about or talked about, and yet it is his commonness on which the glory rests.

Me better than thee.

Ok, I don't have anything against competition. Humankind has progressed partly because of competition against Nature's elements, trying to pull a fast one whenever Nature wanted to put Man in its place. Really don't know whether Man won all the time. Nevertheless, Man competed and competed to win, to prove that he was better than thee.

Yes, sometimes, competition does bring out the best in you, and sometimes, Mr Hyde overshadows Dr. Jekyll and has a field day! Be it as it may, competition does kick one into activity. So, in that sense, competition certainly has a role to play in one's life.

Sitting in my room in WIMWI, I wonder should one always try to compete, when should one compete, what should one compete for, how should one compete, why should one compete, where should one compete.. (See, I am already competing against my limited vocab to chalk up a list of questions to ask!!)

No, seriously, is competition all there is to it? Twenty-seven years of my paltry experience cries out in defiance. NO, there are better things out there. Life is not just about one upmanship or stupid brownie points. Life is about... (Ok, I need another post for that.)

A friend asked me tonight, "Hows Life?" A simple question, really, and yet a thought-provoking one. I used it pretty often myself.

"Life is beautiful", I replied, not reading too much out of that. An hour later, during my hourly break from mugging, I start brooding on the answer, and write this post.

Yes, life is not about me better than thee, Life is much too beautiful than that..